Contented ^^

how was everyone's Christmas? fabulous i hope! i for one had a phenomenal time, getting to relax with both friends and family. thats one thing i really miss in all the business of school time. they might bug me half to death most of the time, but that doesnt mean i cant still love em, right? haha RIGHT?! i also got a phone call from an uber great friend of mine on christmas day and we had a conversation that basically made my holiday ^^. besides all the mushy, warm, fuzzy family times however, theres one other thing id like to imortalize in my green blogger text: PRESENTS!! XD
ok so first of all, my aunt gave me this one HUGE gift. i mean u should have seen it: this big spongebob gift bag with like 5 spongebob themed gifts inside all wrapped with spongebob paper. so now i pretty much own everything spongebob =P!!! spongebob pens, bubble bath, pyjamas, gloves, plush talking toy, EARMUFFS!! oh wow u must see them XD!! hahaha theyre so great!! yup yup and she also gave me this super nice pair of brown suede wedge sandals with ankle strap. very pwetty ^^!
some friends of the family gave me stuff like Zoolander [love that movie!!], a computer game [which me and my sister have already solved lol =P], and Versace's Blonde perfume [smells AMAZING!]. toria gave me this reli nice necklace & earrings set of pretty white shells n pink beads, and heidi gave me this UBER-AWESOME tshirt saying "Everybody loves a Canadian girl"!!! im wearing it right now actually =D!!
and finally my friends, i went shopping today. *SIGH* something i wanted to do since school ended! i got sooo much stuff, all on sale, and dude i woulda bought out all of pickering town centre if money had allowed ^^!!!! and for those of u who know me, u know thats no lie =P!

May God continue to bless you all over this holiday season with love, hope, peace, and joy!
LIC =D

Spell Czech

Eye halve a spelling chequer.
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid,
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite.
Its rarely ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it,
I am shore your pleased two no.
Its letter perfect in its weight.
My chequer tolled me sew.

haha so i thought it was great =D!! the hardest thing i EVER had to type.. but so worth it right? =P neways.. back to chem ISP *sigh*

LIC =D

Back On Track

ive noticed lately that there hasnt been much substance to my posts, just random copying & pasting stuff. not that theres anything wrong with it, because honestly, i just havent been in the mood. and id like to apologise again for that last angry post.. thought it was good to get it out and hey, what are blogs for? =P so i thought id just post a little update here instead of my usual fluff, to let those of u who care know how im doing. yeah, ive been pretty cranky these past few days, just in case u hadnt noticed =P, and im not 100% sure why. a combination of tiredness and ppl in general just getting on my nerves. now, i know better than to let ppl affect me like that, but when i get reli tired defences go down and those little chips ppl try to take out of u start adding up. and so today was the last straw. i wanted to take my frustration out on my law textbook by tearing it into confetti [and if u know anything about that monstrosity i call a "textbook".. lol]. so when i finally got home, the only book i could even bear to pick up without throwing across the room in anger was =P my Bible. and so i opened it to where ive been reading, Psalm 61:
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
[emphasis added =P]
that was all i needed to snap me out of my downward mood spiral =P. haha i recall the words of benson on my blog when i was stuck in my last funk.. get into the Word. because as it has proven itself once again, there is nothing else in the world so radically, stunningly true that can shock u back into reality with God once again. so i thank you Father. that you care enough about each of us to send us your Truth. *folds hands*
Love, in our loving Father, =D.

Here I sit, just minding my own business
And here you come with your sledgehammer
Threatening to smash me to pieces

I dart out of the way just in time
To hear the dread thud pound behind me
Why are you so set out to destroy me?
A small, hard, insignificant brick as I?

Now, you have me backed up against a cliff
That wild, vindictive look in your eyes
Oh, what did I do to deserve this??
I try to shield myself as I wait for the impending blow that will obliterate me
As you send all your strength to your arms to bring vengeance down upon my head

But it never comes
For though I have fallen off the edge,
And you think you have won,
Bricks such as I have been given wings to fly
So I have been rescued.
I am saved.

Grr - ness

*sigh* ok this is gonna be the first and only angry post im gonna make.
THIS IS FOR ALL U PPL OUT THERE WHO INSIST ON TICKING ME OFF ON A CONSTANT BASIS! take it away, three days grace:

I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you

I could be fake
I could be stupid
You know I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you

I could be cold
I could be ruthless
You know I could be just like you

I could be weak
I could be senseless
You know I could be just like you

sorry ppl, yeah im kinda mad right now. but dont worry, cuz if ur here reading this it probly means ur not one of the ppl im ticked off with =P. meh neways i shall cease and desist now cuz im starting to feel better (thx justin!! ^^), but isnt that just the greatest anger song EVER?! hahaha

LIC =D

What's In A Name?

Your first name of: Melody
Your name of Melody makes you easy-going and refined, but detracts from your physical vitality. You desire all the finer things in life--lovely clothes, home, furniture, and environment. However, procrastination is your worst enemy, and you find yourself lacking the ambition to make your dreams a reality often because of lack of confidence. People are inclined to take advantage of your sympathetic, tractable nature. You naturally attract people with problems who seek your understanding and advice.
Though the name Melody creates the urge to understand and help others, we emphasize that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems.

O.O scary huh? source: <<http://www.kabalaraians.com>>

Blonde Jokes

How do u kill a blonde?

Put a 'scratch & sniff' sticker at the bottom of a pool.

hahahaha well i think its funny. of course toria thinks its morbid, but thats probly just cuz shes more blonde than me =P. well anyone with more jokes to tell? post em here n share a laugh lol. just dont make it jacob's "what did batman say to robin before they got in the car?" one.. its hillarious, but kinda played out now =P.
well kinda sitting here in spare, once again avoiding the same calc hwk i didnt complete last night.. *sigh*.. who despises calculus? *raises hand*.. "calculus.. comes to me at night, and i sign, i sign.." haha ha.. no, too much crucible >< here ="P
pray for joint worship today in Bible class. we prayed yesterday, and i know it will go really well, but i just pray that the Holy Spirit will move among us and that we'll be able to see the product of the planning team's hard work. plz be in constant prayer. not just when we're stressing about calc tests or english crucible essays/tests, but always. haha "prayer is communication, not just supplication." take care, evryone, and i shall be in prayer for you.
LIC =D

The Day of Hilarity

today shall go down in history when the most hillarious incidents happened at school. haha and most of them have to do with kinlocke cuz man thats one funny guy =P!! u just had to be there for most of it, but yeah its just great. andy and kinlocke are standing right beside each other in the lunchroom, andy turns to him and yells "BOO!!" and kinlocke jumps like 3 feet into the air..!! WOW man ask him. i was literally ROLLING ON THE FLOOR with laughter. heh heh no? well guess u had to be there.
and then in Bible class? well miss carmichael wasnt there, so we spent the time watching wellman comb his hair. getting andy to trick simon out of my chair. kinlocke: "what does the 'R' in BEDMAS stand for?" LOL!! "umm sunshine, theres no 'R' in BEDMAS.. =_=" .. "haha oya ^^!!" and then from ch 31.. "only you can be you ^^" *rolls eyes* lol..
all i can say is that proverbs 17:22 is so true: a cheerful heart does good like medicine. tis what i kept remembering all day as i enjoyed it with my friends.
and now we shall try something that i REEEELI hope works!! ^^ *crosses fingers*

SEASONS OF LOVE (Rent Soundtrack)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Blogthings

thx toria ^^

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out.When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life. Your flirting style: Laid back Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm What you bring to relationships: Balance

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorheartdoyouhavequiz/

What Color Heart Do You Have?

The Test

grr i hate how blogger doesnt let me change my font n stuff anymore.. well we'll just have to wait and see if this test run comes out the way i want it.
man, how cool is the crucible? =D watched the other two groups today in english class and they were sooo good!! its amazing to see such an awesome play performed on stage, because then u can see the scenes in ur head come to life. its probably just another melodys strange thing, but i actually watch the play as i read it. i can see it happening in my head, and its pretty cool! cuz u can just see all the actions and raw emotions testing the characters and playing exactly the same way Miller probably saw them. its like theres a theatre in my head =P.
i heard a bunch of ppl talking at lunch about mr philips chapel message. and just for the record, i thought it was very good. i reli believe its something we ALL needed to hear, so to those of you who slept through it, that just disappoints me. taking Gods name in vain at a CHRISTIAN SCHOOL? cant u just TASTE the irony in that?!? i mean, come on, ud think we'd be smart enough to recognize hypocracy like that when we see it and correct it. of course i do, because, quite honestly, my life for one is just full of hypocracy. the message reli convicted me once again. its true what mr gear tells us, there is nothing sacred anymore. and if ur like me u could say "oh but i dont say stuff like that, i use gosh, goodness, darn, heck, geez, etc. i think mr philip was just overreacting when he said those things were bad." and when i say them, its not like im even thinking of the stronger word its avoiding. but does that matter? when others hear u say them, is it not possible that they could draw the link from it? and if it encourages that in their minds, will i not still be held accountable for that? my friends, i think its true. i shouldnt try to go as close to the line as i can without crossing it, NO! i should hug the opposite wall, trying to get as far away from it as i possibly can. each time i use or even THINK one of those words, im taking my tongue like a whip across the open and innocent back of Christ. now you may think im being extreme, and perhaps i am, but i think God has called us all to extreme and radical obedience. may he test all our hearts and make us sensitive to his moving.

and so, =P in closing.. id like to end with two extremely great quotes i stole from ppl these past two days:
"Guys are like fireflies; theyre better dead so u dont have to chase them."
"Life is a garden. Dig it."
now go back and see how many times i used the word "test" in this blog entry =P
LIC =D

WOW

its like a total turnaround. today [well technically yesterday, now] just started out INFINITELY sucky.. and ended so great. so basically tests n junk after a weekend of being sick and having to work. i failed them all i bet, but yeah it was just the worst day ever that is until i was on my way to work, walking in the almost dark along sheppard. i was tramping along, angry at the world, thinking "i bet if i ran away now nobody would even miss me," and then i had to stop in my tracks. i drew my foot back because there underneath was the most beautiful flower, a deep orange gladiola. as i bent over to pick it up, i realized it was still in perfect condition after lying on the sidewalk for who knows how long. it still smelled fresh. i suppose the night air had preserved it. it was almost like someone had put it there specifically for me to find. amazingly simple, but it fully made my day =], and ive been smiling ever since. ive realized that God still loves me, he was just waiting for me to stop and acknowledge his working in my life. and no matter how many times i run away and hide in a corner away from him, he always knows exactly where im hiding and how to get me to come right back to him. what can i say people? God is good. God is great. God loves you whether u feel him right beside u or not. what is he doing today to try and get your attention? open up your eyes. ur answer might be right in front of you.
thanks to those who commented ^^
LIC =D

Sad Thoughts

so i dont know whats with me and writing my sad thoughts down. theyre just so much easier than happy ones. heres one i wrote at random. just something strange. but i want to post it and a reply a friend of mine wrote back.

mine:

ill just stand in the crowds and watch as you walk by
while hundreds of fans scream, "we love you!!!"
you'll smile and wave
and walk right past me
and see right through me
though i used to know you
and you knew me too
my heart, my mind, my soul
i told them all to you
and now i see
im just another face in the crowd

friends':

I'll stand above the crowds looking down upon faces
traveled the world, diverse culteres and places
Ill hope and hope with each passing smile
To find that one face i've searched for a while
The one i may never see, in dreams it'll have to be
Till then ill just listen to whispers of the soul
Your heart, your mind, it never gets old
Ill stand above those faces and crowds
Yell your name, no matter how loud
So i can jump down and stand by ur side
only to lift you above them all
and up towards the sky

yes well that tis all. i know i dont post a lot and so not many ppl will read this. tis ok
LIC =D

Inspiration

hehe yeah im random i know.. but well i was driving home from school today and i saw these perfect hills of grass in front of some fancy corporate buildings and decided to write something about it =P. well as you'll probably guess, ive never actually written a sonnet before ^^ so dont read it unless u like wierd poetry =P. Here goes:

I, the Weed
Gazing through the chain link fence at the sight:
The endless hills of youthful-looking grass
Glowing green. To join would be all delight,
But ev'ry blade knows I'm not of its class.

For I, the insidious weed, disgrace
The ideal flawlessness of the smooth lawn.
I could never compare to the pure face
On each slender stalk where all eyes are drawn.

Why are they the object of man's desire?
Is it impossible for weeds like I
To astonish, be loved, and then inspire?
But the world's iron fence won't let me by.

I turn ev'ry page and look in between,
Then sigh and close my fashion magazine.

haha ^^ i love how random it is =P. neways... back to hwk then i suppose. ciao!
LIC
melzz =D

Success @ Last

Greetings all, [btw i have no idea where the last comment on my last entry came from... =S] im extremely glad i now have a job.. even though its now the end of the summer. Chapters is such a great place; the people are really nice and most of it is pretty straight forward.. except cash training =_=
in further news i dyed my hair red!! yay red!! ask toria and heidi to describe it cuz they helped me do it. the towels we used look like we murdered someone that night they slept over.. heh heh. i LOVE the red hair. i wish my hair was red for real. *sigh*
also i went to the doctors this morning and they took my blood... OUCH it hurts >< consolation ="P." face="verdana" size="2">my friends it has all come down to this. what do u do if someone likes u but u dont like them back? ive never been very good at this part ill admit. forgive the sudden topic change btw =S. cuz wow its just giving me major guilt gut.. like i just wanna crawl into a hole to hide and never come out again so as to avoid it all. any advice for me or tragic/amusing anecdotes? anyone? ANYONE?? id sure like to know im not alone on this... ><
id also just like to take this opportunity to thank all my friends out there who may or may not be reading this. thx for sticking by me for how ever long we've known each other and i hope i go to ur blog to give u great advice too. oh and im really sorry if i missed ur birthday this summer. admittedly, it was because ive been uber lazy. my sincerest appologies and God bless!!
LIC =D

Bored Much?

is everyone in the world bored? honestly, id like to hear from anyone who isnt! [haha which wont happen cuz who checks ppls blogs unless theyre bored? muhaha] its not like interesting things dont happen, its just that there really arent enough things!! so guess how im filling up my spare time.. besides the obvious blogging =P. well thanks to my uber-boring saturday job at flemingdon pool, ive finished almost 3 novels =D.
i did get another email from one guy toria and i met in romania =D... his english mistakes are funny but i dont make fun cuz it must be hard =P. at least this lag in excitement allows for more correspondence...
HEIDI AND TORIA!!! first week in august we must do some shopping!!! get back to me ;] cuz then maybe that will relieve some all around boredness.
i hope that a lot of people are remembering to pray for our next school year - we're gonna be seniors - its our last year. whats God leading us to do? are we gonna do it? please pray for a great ministry, a lasting impression, and of course that we'll have fun!!
well ive had two months of virtually free time and what do i have to show for it? i dunno. let me get back to you on that.
LIC =D

CANADA ROCKS!!

WOW could it seriously have been any longer since i posted?? no i dont think so. well anyways i just came back yesterday from my conference [not camp, toria..]. uh no there reli wasnt any way to contact me there since i was in washington dc and NYC staying at georgetown and columbia universities. IT WAS CRAZY AWESOME FUN!!! we did a lot of sightseeing which was ok.. except it was america and how exciting can that be reli? yeah but i met sooo many new people!! AMAZING PEOPLE!!! haha i only hope i can stay in contact with all of them since only 1 or 2 live even remotely close to me... =P
oya and im also looking for a summer job... im going for interview soon so wish me luck *** XD.
YESSSS ITS CANADA DAY!!!! CANADA ROCKS!! haha there was a guy from BC at the summitt who convinced evryone he brought beaver jerkey with him.. we had fun laughing at all those americans.. =P. welll anyways i guess id better leave some stuff to write about tmw...
LIC =D

UPDATING

GOSH yes i realize i havent updated... in a month. so just get off my back you monkeys!!
right so now melodys stressed about exams.. >< work ="D" me ="P
yeah and then i have the ppl to ppl conference... thatll be fun =D but ill be missing my youth group's year end formal =[ owell i dont have a dress neways.
haha at the garage sale at my church on saturday my sister bought a whole box full of jigsaw puzzles. i LOVE jigsaw puzzles!! haha i finished two of them already =D lolz no im not wasting my time... that much.
lolz haha im obsessed with music again!! i wont bore you with all the songs and bands you guys dont kno... yeah but RELIENT K?!?!? haha theyre awesome!! post a comment if u love them!!! the song "Be My Escape"... yeah ive been obsessed with it for the last.... month-ish =D its awesome!! go to their website and watch the video XD haha im gonna go do that rite now =D lolz.. obsession doesnt begin to describe it!!!!!!!
LIC =D

Countdown

i so cant believe im going to europe in less than four days. AAAHHHH!!! its gonna be so amazing. i cant wait but in some ways im scared. i dont know what its like on another continent. ill be sooo tired there because of the five hour time change and ive never been overnite on a plane before.. ><. i hope i rmb to pack everything. and can you believe teachers are actually giving us hwk to take?? blasphemy. i swear ill take more pictures this time.. in mexico i barely used two rolls of film. sad... lolz. i actually wanna have lots of memories from my first europe trip... i plan to travel more but i should learn to take more pictures. =S lolz.. maybe ill post them here later?
Ivy: Let's BOUNCE!!
LIC =D

What I Learned

or should i say learning: PEOPLE CAN SURPRISE YOU.
the other day one person i thought i was pretty close with dissed me and i felt permantly ostrasized from them. after school, another person took some time to talk with me about a common interest - and from this person it totally surprised me. it was like a breath of fresh air. and i went home happy.
ive been reading this really great book "Blue Like Jazz" by Don Miller. last night i read a chapter about love and Miller definitely waxed eloquent. he was talking about common metaphors we use with friendships: we value people, we invest in people, a relationship could be bankrupt, and people can be priceless - all economic terms. We think of love as a commodity. we use it like money. it is something to be earned or repayed.
ive been startled how much this applies to my relationships. love doesnt [or shouldnt] work like money. "when we barter with it, we all lose." instead of conditional love, we should pour it on lavishly and let it work like a magnet, drawing people closer. God never withholds love to teach us lessons about earning his love. his love is perfect, devine, magnetic.
LIC =D

Church

went to torias church. the "church in toronto" - wow how descriptive [jks]. it was reli fun. ppl prayed out loud, shouted amen evry 5 seconds, songs were sung 50 times in a row, this really GROSS wine for communion, sang "Your Love O Lord" solo with the band cuz ppl didnt kno it, and got sauce on my white skirt. honestly, i had a fabulous time! it was a totally new experience for me and it was so much fun. also, i highly recommend having potlucks after all church services =D.
danis baptism was reli cool. everyone had such cool stories to tell. i should be baptized soon...
i wore my new glasses today. theyre shiny - i like shiny things [lol sunshine!]. at least i can see things now; thats a bonus.
Ivy: "My mack daddy moves are so fly!" LOL
LIC =D

Incomplete

ever feel that way? like your life is just lacking that certain "je ne sais quoi"? well ive sure been feeling it lately. especially in SAP class with the whole love languages thing. jones was reading the introduction and he said something to the effect that those who didnt grow up with the whole healthy family thing have a skewed view of how to express love.
ouch that hurts cuz i think thats me. i have no idea what my love language is and this whole unit is kinda hard for me to understand and talk about. grr... owell... guess ill just have to concentrate extra hard in class.. maybe actually BUYING the book would be a good start. =S
LIC =D

Happy Easter!

sorry about there being two posts in one day. the other one was a draft i had saved. i was doing a crossword today and one clue was "online diary" and the answer was "blog" so i took it as a sign from victoria and here i am!
gotta love long weekends =D. yeah mine was a lot of work, but hey thats my life. i was at my church's good friday services at 9 and 11, then on sunday at 9, 11, and 4. well the last was good cuz i just listened and Kim came with me. yeah that was cool we did it for the bible project. saturday i did some homework [keyword: SOME]. monday... oman i ate chocolate eggs and marshmallows like there would be no tomorrow. wow im sooo incredibly fat now.
a friend of mine at church, Brittney, she gave me SONGS ABOUT JANE BY MAROON 5!!!! EEEEEEEE im soo incredulously happy!!! ive listened to it at least one billion trillion times. and she gave me some cool sand from the beach in florida where she was for march break. yeah so i suppose overall it was a fantabulous weekend. out of love for maroon five, this text will be the appropriate colour even tho it tremendously clashes. Ciao, baby!
LIC =D

Pause

wouldnt it be nice if u had a life-remote? you could control everything around you with the push of a button. if u needed more time for a test, you could pause your teacher. if ur parents started giving you a lecture, press fast forward. if you had a headache, you could mute the world so you could have some quiet. yeah sure it'd be reli nice. ive realized that u can actually try it out on people. sure you dont actually get a cool looking remote but if you try it with some of your friends, i bet theyd play along.
too bad there arent instant solutions to life's problems like that. but no, lifes just not that easy. anyways to try and turn this pessimism around... i got nothin. owell enjoy the long weekend!!
LIC =D

Being Real

what comes to mind when i read this title? being myself. those many spiritual retreats ive been on where they encourage you to be real. reading the idealistic ramblings of so many. im being cynical, i know. why are we all on this glorious quest to be "real" - and how do we define that in the first place.
some say be who you are. some say be who others expect you to be [who says that?!]. when you take a look at yourself, is that really you or just many tiny pieces of others put together? i wonder if adam and eve had trouble being real if they didnt have any people before them to emulate. or maybe it was better since they didnt have any bad examples, just God.
finding my own niche. yeah its hard. gotta find someplace where no one's ever been before. i know its possible because ive been created differently than everyone else. my youth group has been talking about this lately. to be real i need a place where i know ill be accepted as real. no one thinking "man shes weird" but not having the courage to say it.
in my search from being real, i shouldnt try too hard to find out who I am. sounds contradictory, i know. being real involves finding out who God is and allowing Him to show me who he created me to be.
Prayer: God, i know the reality is that i am sinful. Please show me who you meant for me to be. i want to be like you. i want to be REAL.
LIC =D

MY March Break

btw thx to all who encouraged my crazy dreams. love u all. yeah kim i read ur blog and i thot the same thing bout u wearing my stuff. just an update - my aunt told me shes gonna teach me how to sew. u kno my whole family used to make their own clothes? its in the JEANS i guess [sorry bad pun].
well yeah it turns out march 7th was a TOTAL BUST!!!! ill say no more. i did however buy lotsa cool stuff including my latest pair of crazy shoes for you all to sigh and shake ur heads at. they'll definitely be making their debut soon.
so now im looking forward to my church choir's trip to stratford this wknd. its gonna be fab! yeah i hope i can get in some shopping time =D dont shake ur heads at me u kno u all love shopping too!!!
ok. ive been telling some ppl about this and ive been really thinking about it alot. its a major life decision [i think]. so again, just let me kno wut u think.
on monday i was at the eatons centre going into my fave shoe store [icon] and this lady walks up to me. she asks "are u a model". i awkwardly say no... and she asks if im one from maybe out of town etc. after a few more awkward "no"s, she hands me her business card for some modelling agency. now modelling has always been a kinda out there fantasy of mine - hey what girl hasnt? but yeah im reli stuck on what to do. id love to do it. but this is an agency which id have to hire with $$. do i reli think i could do this? what am i thinking? im just really confused. id reli like just a few ppl who could give me some serious hard-core advice on this. it could be my big break - my gateway into the fashion industry. id get to meet lots of influential ppl. this is my LIFE im talking about. ive been praying to God for a while now asking him to reveal to me what he wants for my future. could this be my answer? on the other hand, he could be testing me and what im willing to give up for him. it could just be a random and cruel joke the world is playing on me.
I think ive always dreamed of this is because when i was little my sister would always tell me i was fat, ugly, untalented, dumb, etc. im not claiming to be some great person here cuz ill be the first to tell u that im not. however, it is God's light that makes us all beautiful and attractive people. i bet u thats all she saw in me. but if i could, id really like to show what God can do through those who are the least attractive. if i keep this motive, would that be ok? plz comment or email me reli long answers. i seriously need good advice.
u guys rock =D

ps: anybody wanna help me with blog layout? im computerly challenged =D

Fashionistas

just so u kno heidi and i are going into business together. yep we're gonna start our own fashion company and become the next coco chanels.. wow that would be wierd huh? [that reminds me how i need a nickname *sighz*] yep since we're both super creative i can tell her ideas and she can draw them [since im not as good at that part] yeah i think toria should join if she wants. i know it sounds wierd for those of you who dont go to my church but they tell me i should be a designer. at first i thought it sounded really cool and of course i wanted to do it but then my melody-ness kicked in and i started to overanalyze. i thot about what it would take to be the next louis vuitton; as in having next to nothing clothes in every season. yeah thats not what i want. the thing is that i want to become really well known [i want to be famous] and i thought the only way to do that was to become an international superstar. yeah i was dead wrong. do u think God has anything against fashion? no seriously; sounds like a dumb question but id like to know. would it be a waste of a life i could be spending in Africa or something or is there really something i could do for God on the runway? or in any profession i choose for that matter. i think thats probably one of the things thats holding me back from choosing a profession: that God wont be pleased with me. thats a really scary thought for me. would he be pleased? would he get mad? would he dissown me? would he send down fire and brimstone to burn up my blasphemous designs? am i going too far again with the analyzing? i dunno u tell me.
btw, if ur needing something to look forward to - march break. just one more day ppl; hang in there!! i love u all. [march 7th/17th - RFR]
LIC

do something

Is it just me or does it seem like every class discussion we have at school somehow leads us back to how life at PCA is unfair or needs to be changed or should be better?
and yet we never do anything
Are we really going to follow the trend nowadays towards talking, debating, studying, and analyzing every situation to death and never really accomplish anything?
Its like the typical Canadian government. Did you hear about the study they did into why the Natives smelled badly? Well the government put together a whole huge extravagant board with researchers and stuff to try and figure it out. they wasted probably hundreds of thousands of dollars doing this and do you know what their conclusion was? because they didnt bathe.
wow now theres a mind boggling concept for you
Now dont get me wrong, its not that i dont like Canada. i love Canada and i love PCA too. so am i just going to sit around and do nothing while my last years at this school go down the toilet? no im not. anything that i really believe in changing at this school i am actively involved in trying to change it. can all those who sit around debating and suggesting ways to improve things say that they are involved in positive change? well i have something to suggest. why dont u do something? otherwise your ideas will sit around and rot like those Natives
(*note: i have nothing against Natives, the Canadian government, or Brittney Spears and actually i dont think that study was an actual thing - i think it just sounded funny =D)

Go

Welcome to my crazy awesome blog!! Thanks to toria, heidi, and sunshine for encouraging me to get one... yeah this will hopefully be fun. So, to recap, here I can let out my feelings about how frustrated i am with work instead of just buckling down and doing it. In case you're wondering what I'm avoiding doing now its my law ISP. Yeah I know - I'm such a hypocrite.
Well if anyone happens to find the URL to my blog, welcome to the beginning of a hopefully good, maybe entertaining, and completely random blog (just cuz im white =D jks). Anyways its time to end this so i can find out what happens after i make a post... ps: let me kno if u like it ok? =D